| Homepage | Web Directory | Article Directory | Bid Directory |
Articles. News. Information. | |
Category of Information, News & Articles |
|
|
|
Influencing Adolescents - Guided Democracy
You need to smart to be able influence adolescents. You need to be able to stand back a little, hold your tongue and wait your turn to speak. Recently, Sam my seventeen year old son, said "No way" to our requests to wear some decent clothes to an upcoming on-stage event. Sam was chosen to read a piece of his written work on stage in front of 200 people in a plush venue the coming Friday night. Our suggestions to wear a decent set of threads as opposed to the thread-bare, bum hanging out of his pants attire that was his norm was met with defiance. His is jutting jaw and arms folded he said determinedly, "No way, I am dressing for me not for you! I want to feel comfortable on stage, and I won't feel comfortable dressed like a dork." My experience dealing with him lead to me to believe that meeting him head-on was like waving a red rag to a bull, and he would have only stood his ground and not shifted on principle. I wanted him to feel comfortable with his clothing but also that he needed to dress according to the dictates of the situation. We wanted him to be himself, just a souped-up version of himself for that night. It was time to instil a few doubts and chip away a little at his suit of defensive armour. I said, "Maybe you won't feel comfortable if the other kids are wearing good clothes and you're not. It can be awful being the odd one out. A bit like the only one wearing fancy dress at a party" He didn't reply but I could see by the look on his face that I had given him something to ponder. Time for a retreat and allow him some time to chew it over. That evening he brought the matter up to his mother and I. Sue suggested some clothes he might wear. "Why not wear your grey pants, your good black shoes and a shirt?" "No way, not my black shoes, no way," he replied. "Okay, but if you wear your check shirt then you are making a real fashion statement." "I could wear my check shirt?" "Yes, of course. I wouldn't want you to look like a dork on stage." My wife then left him to think on this. It was obvious that he was thinking, pondering and getting used to the idea of wearing decent clothes and the option we suggested was not such a bad one. We wanted him to think that his choice of clothes was his decision. This is guided democracy at work On the night of the reading he appeared with freshly pressed grey pants that covered his boxer shorts, black leather shoes and a very smart check shirt. With hair jelled and pointy he scrubbed up well. He looked like we hoped he would look - like a seventeen year old who had made the effort to bridge the gap between the more conservative adult world and his own adolescent world, at least for a night. "How do I look? Do you like my clothes?" His mother threw a huge smile his way, hugged him tight and said, "You look very handsome Sam. Can I go out with you tonight?" An awkward smile lit up his face and I swear I saw him grow a few centimetres in that instant. He held out his arm and said, "Mum you're on. Let's go." As he walked out the door with an air of confidence I knew that we had made the right decision to push him to dress appropriately. I also knew that it had to be his decision to wear decent clothes - he just needed to be given some time and a few things to think about in the meantime. Michael Grose is Australia's leading parenting educator. He is the author of six books and gives over 100 presentations a year and appears regularly on television, radio and in print. For further ideas to help you raise happy children and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au . While you are there subscribe to Happy Kids newsletter and receive a free report Seven ways to beat sibling rivalry.
MORE RESOURCES:
Parenting - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Back to School - Disappontment? Our back-to-school buying habits do not help kids succeed in the classroom!Parents are buying new book bags, school clothes, tennis shoes, notebooks, pens, etc., with the mistaken belief that this will help their child succeed in school. The Seven Keys to Child Obedience Learning obedience is an important part of child development. This is the tool that allows you as parents to train your child. Invented Spelling --- Another Alice-in-Wonderland Public-School Theory As part of the whole-language (or "balanced") reading-instruction philosophy, many public schools now teach what they call "invented" or "creative" spelling. Under this theory of spelling, teachers believe that forcing a child to spell a word correctly thwarts the child's "creativity. 7 Powerful Ways to Show Love to Children Our children are our most important legacy to the world. However, our love is our most important legacy to our children. 10 Signs That Your Teen Is Using Drugs Did you know that over 75% of teens aged 16-17 report that obtaining marijuana is "easy or fairly easy?" Or that 25% of youths between 12 and 17 say the same of crack?When children start using drugs they usually exhibit many different signs that parents need to watch out for. Unfortunately, many parents often write-off these signs as normal adolescent behavior and as a result they don't realize that their child is into drugs until it is too late. Muscle Pain And Children Do Not Mix I am in pain. I've been in pain all day. Would You Know if Your Child Were Being Bullied? 4 Tips to Keep Them From Becoming a Victim The 21st Century Problem in Schools: Bullying, and How to Keep Your Kid From Being a VictimChildren bullying other children has been an issue since there were children, and though it has often been downplayed as "part of growing up," it has always had potentially serious implications from an emotional perspective.But these days, due to a host of factors such as our society's glorification of celebrity and being popular, violence in mass media, and easy access to deadly weapons, the implications can be especially risky. Sibling Fighting - Reduce Sibling Rivalry by NOT Keeping Score Recently, a much-anticipated game of mini-golf with my children soon turned into a disaster. There were smiles all round as we hit off from the first tee but the enjoyment factor was reduced to zero as my children's smiles were replaced by tears, put downs and whining. Some Thoughts on Counseling Goals for ADHD What should the goals for counseling be when the patient has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder? Every therapist will have their own opinions, but I'll give you some of my thoughts. First, it is important to teach the child or teen with ADHD how to recognize problems and how to solve problems. School Holiday Survival Guide The school holidays are a great time for the kids, all those weeks of fun and games, no school, getting up late??but not for their parents! Summer vacation time can be just as much like hard work as the rest of the year. Trying to keep the kids entertained for six whole weeks can seem like a daunting task, so here are ten top tips to help you survive the summer holidays. Raising Strong Daughters When my daughter was born, I must admit there was a distinctly different feeling to it. Part of me was thrilled, but part of me was unsure of how to deal with a gender I still couldn't quite understand. Hearing Our Seriously Distressed Adolescents The distressed adolescent often has feelings of abandonment, emotional detachment, withdrawal, and isolation. These children begin to develop an intense anger directed towards an adult society that they feel has hurt them and does not understand them. Bath Time Fun Bath time can be fun or it can be a real hassle if your child is afraid or don't like it. So we as mothers try to make it a fun time for our little ones! Then the problem will be getting them out!Color ItBubble bath can be irritating to little ones causing urinary track infections, yeast infections as well as skin irritation. What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up? Q. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"A. Parenting Your Teenager: 4 Traps to Avoid 4 traps to avoidTrap 1 - Parents need to realize the trap that is being set when your kids ask,"Well, why can't I (fill in the blank)?"Many well-intentioned parents then proceed to give a well-reasoned response and then wonder why the kids blow up and don't accept it.Here's a response I believe a parent will never get:"Thank you for that explanation Mom and Dad. Top Seven Tips for Back-to-School Success Parents play a critical role in their child's success. These seven tips from http://www. Parenting Confidence - Who Needs It? It used to strike me as odd - but really, it makes perfect sense.If you are a regular flier, or have flown recently, you'll know what I mean. Build Character Now! Practical Tools for Busy Parents "To educate a person in mind and not in morals is to educate a menace to society." -Theodore Roosevelt, U. Quality Time with Your Teen It's sometimes difficult to find ways to be involved with your teen without totally intruding in his/her life. You want to talk to them, they don't want to talk to you (most of the time anyway). Identifying Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder in the Classroom: Eight Things Teachers Should Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is the phrase that is used to describe children who have significant problems with high levels of distractibility or inattention, impulsiveness, and often with excessive motor activity levels. There may be deficits in attention and impulse control without hyperactivity being present.
|
| Home | Sitemap | |
| © 2006 eInfoJunction.com | Homepage | Web Directory | Article Directory| Bid Directory |